Talk About It

I just finished my 5th week of my new job (when is it now “new” anymore?)….for those of you that didn’t know, I got a new job. (Oh, and a big thanks to all of you who kept me in your prayers concerning this). I now work for a company called Hafele. It’s German. It’s big but not too big, it’s corporate enough that I don’t know everyone, but I still know where everyone sits (except for the people in NY, LA, San Fran, Chicago, and Canada).

Changes are sweeping through my life. I am naturally resistant to change. Anything new as my wife will tell you is a fight for me to embrace, except for technology. New habits, new ways of doing things, dying to old habits, breaking patterns I’m used to. Why is that? The comfortableness of life, whether misery or happiness seems to be a hold. When we’re happy with our situation, we don’t strive for more because we don’t want to screw up what we have. When we’re living in misery, we don’t change it because we’re so used to everything being crap, that if we try we know we’re going to fail anyway.

That is how I’ve looked at life for so long. You got your lot, this is “God’s plan”. Says who? Could it be that I’m not really seeking His will for my life and I’m just living out a sedentary existance, my hours filled with mundane ordinary tasks that have no real impact on those around me? Ultimately, I’m going to decide where my life goes. That’s the great thing about having the cognitive ability to decide for ourselves. We are not animals that live by instinct and pattern. A dog is still a dog. A chimp, no matter how smart it may seem is still a dumb animal, ith no sense of morality or ethics. ou still have to train them. Yet we (I) place ourselves in the same category with them daily. I must eat, I must work, must sleep so I can eat and work again tomorrow, must provide for family, must go to church because it is Sunday, must eat, must sleep, must work. (That was a textual impression of a Tarzan-type voice. So read that previous sentence again like that).

We have been given the ability by our Sovereign Creator to make each day a different one, better than the next…or worse than the next. “Comfort” is to me becoming an evil word. When I start to feel comfortable or be comfortable, that’s when the bad times come. That’s when I lose my focus. That’s when I make sloppy decisions. That’s when I can’t keep my thoughts from ricocheting like a pinball in my head.

So here I am now in a new job with new opportunities to change my days. I’m also becoming a father. No wait, I am a father. My wife left on Oct. 12th for Thailand, and I’m leaving Oct. 26th. When we return, we will have a 4 year old little girl with that we will call our daughter. Wow. It’s hard enough to be a husband. Father seems even more daunting. Can’t lose focus on this one. Can’t get comfortable. Got to stay sharp. The times have already changed.

The past few mornings, I’ve gotten out of the house just in time to get to work on time. Then I feel like I never get settled for the day. Oct. 5th I left the house fairly early, partly to get gas for my vintage 1996 Mazda pickup, but partly because I was tired of rushing around. That’s what I always do. One of my flaws is that I get crazy. As my mom used say, I’m running around like a chicken with his head cut off. Can’t see where I’m going, but I’m try to get somewhere. Eventually the chicken just falls over cause there’s nowhere to go. All that running helped no one, not even himself. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to actually make things harder? It’s so much easier to embrace change than to work around it or resist it in our own way. I start work at 8, which is 30 minutes earlier than my previous job. So I knew I would have to get up earlier as well. I had it timed fairly well as to when I actually needed to get up, throw some clothes on and be at work in just enough time. But then my day seemed like crap the rest of the time. I felt unsettled, disconnected.

Now, I’ve found if I actually get up more than an hour before I need to leave…..what a difference! I’m alert (to a point, it is still morning), I’m feeling good, and I’m in a better mood. This week I woke up before my alarm a couple of times, and thought, “It’s 6:15. My alarm goes off at 6:30. I’m awake, so I’l cut it off. I don’t want to wake my wife up with my nasty sounding alarm. I’l just lie here for a second and rest a little bit longer.” Bam!!! It’s 7:25! I need to be at work by 8. It takes 30 minutes to get there, and I haven’t even taken a shower. Plus, I shave every other day now (because I’m sick of shaving), and it’s the day I need to shave. We all know what happens when we shave too fast! My face looked like a roll of Charmin had exploded on it on the way up I-85. I was all over the place trying to get ready. Because I was refusing to change. Adapt to my new schedule, embrace the opportunity to make my life easier. Instead I held on to an old habit that got me nothing but panic attacks and heightened blood pressure (which by the way I had checked last week and it was 117/80…I’m very healthy…). I guess it really ultimately pays to be a morning person. Maybe then you savor even more the prospect of sleeping in.

What’s the point of all this introspection? I’m understanding that the times, they are a-changin. The swing point though is one of two ways to go. Am I going to allow the times to change me? Or am I going to change my times? What am I going to do to define myself as a father, a husband, a good employee, but most importantly as a man, personally created by a God who sees the potential in me and wants me to embrace it, not run away from it because it may be a harder road than a more “comfortable one”?

I know that this is not a highly volatile political topic. This may not have really interested you at all. But here at Talk About It, we talk about IT. And IT is everything, not just a cool promotion by eBay.

PS - RECOMMENDED READING for the Rest of Your Life -

Wild at Heart

by John Eldredge. Probably one of the best books I’ve ever read, well, listened to. Required for men, women should read it too. I have it on mp3 if you’re interested. Shoot me an email at show@talkaboutit.milwen.com.